I err on the side of love

Today I am thinking about my dear friends who sincerely believe that the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage is wrong. They feel this is an embracing of sin and wonder why I am celebrating it. I understand this view because there was a time not so long ago when I would have mourned this ruling. My motto was “hate the sin, love the sinner.” A phrase which makes me cringe now. When someone identifies himself down to their DNA as something. You can’t separate that as sin from the soul of that person. And so to say “hate the sin, love the sinner” you are heard as “I hate you and who you are.”

I have a unique perspective as a 35-year-old who is past her expiration date. The type of cancer I have and the path I was on, I quite simply should be dead today. I’ve thought a lot about what my legacy will be and someday sitting with God and discussing the life I have led. I want to have erred on the side of love. And if God says I erred too much on the side of love, that’s a decision I am willing to live with at this point. That’s a choice, a risk I’m willing to take because I feel I am walking in the footsteps of Jesus in defying the religious culture of his day to err on the side of love.

Jesus only once during time on earth gave a “new commandment” explicitly. He said clearly “A new commandment I give to you, just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

So today I celebrate that love wins.

Five years of melanoma

Five years ago today I was diagnosed with melanoma. The phone rang while I was sitting at the kitchen table creating picture labels for dresser drawers with Joey and Abby. I had NO idea what was coming or what the diagnosis meant. Joey was 5 and Abby was 3. I had Danny come home that day at lunch to cry on his shoulder in fear. I knew melanoma was “the bad skin cancer” but not much else.

It’s been five years, seven surgeries, six biopsies, ten treatment approaches, nine chemotherapy and immunotherapy drugs, tumors come and gone through treatment and surgery and two years of dealing with brain tumors and their aftermath. We’ve come a long way, baby! And I know a lot more about melanoma and its treatment now.

We are in an odd place though. Continue reading